It's been quite a while since I've blogged...a combination of work and personal issues that have left me without much desire to "share", much less to be amusing. I am reminded now, though, of how a few weeks after I arrived, Makayla, you asked me if I had made any friends yet. While it was a sharp reminder of how alone I was, it was also a lovely concept -- that my 12-year old granddaughter wanted to be sure I had friends.
Well, I'm six months into the 18 months here, and finally, I can say that I have, indeed, started to make friends -- or at least, to have a social life. (No, no men or dates.)
My first "Hmmm...this woman might become a friend" experience was with Eunice, a tall, high-fashion, high-energy, married businesswoman with two young children who produces a TV show on business affairs. We'd met a few times concerning her show, and her interest in my "Creatrics" trainings. Last Friday night we had a "girls' night out", going for food, drink, "girltalk", and live music (great band/singers playing Ghanaian "high life" !). I reverted to my true self -- the first one on the dance floor, pulling others up -- and for the first time in 15 months, didn't feel like a tired, used-up, old widow.
I've also started going to activities held by "NAWA" (North American Women's Association). At one such event (a fashion show of really outrageous but fun African clothing by a Swedish designer) I met Ansantewaa -- a Ghanaian woman married to a white American (we can say "black" and "white" here without feeling we're committing some kind of terrible social faux pas), with three children, a recently published cookbook on Ghanaian food, and a wicked sense of irony and outrage. She's known by most people (including her husband of 25 years) as "Sarah", but has taken back her African name and so is introducing herself that way. I've now been to her house for dinner twice, we've gone walking, and I'm picking her up to go to a NAWA meeting tomorrow night, to hear a woman lawyer speak on women's rights in Ghana.
I met Paula, a Portuguese ex-pat here in Accra who's selling real estate, at "Cuppa Cappuccino", a cute little cafe where I sometimes I go for excellent food and coffee and really bad service. In fact, bad service is so much the norm at restaurants in Accra that when I had a friendly, attentive and competent server at one restaurant recently, I gave GHc 10 (10 cedis = $7) to the manager to buy the server some sushi, which he said he liked but couldn't afford.
The next time I went to "Cuppa", I struck up a conversation with Judith, a Ghanaian-American lawyer/financial advisor with a very strong New York accent, and her friend Ama, a Ghanaian IT specialist and university instructor who recently adopted a young daughter. Paula happened by, and we talked about music -- Judith is a major ethnic music fan -- and agreed it would be fun to get together for wine and cheese and share our favorite music. So, I went ahead and arranged that gathering for the next Saturday at my apartment. I also invited Ansantewaa and Eunice (latter couldn't make it), and Paula brought her Portuguese friend, Vanda. It was four hours of music and lively conversation -- about careers, life in Ghana, how Africans are portrayed internationally (we both laughed at and rued the predominant images of destitution, disease and backwardness) and, mostly, about "relationships". Although my guests were all in their mid-to-late 40's and either long-married (Asantewaa) with children still at home, divorcing (Vanda), or single/never married (the others), and I'm in my 60's long married/widow, it was a conversation to which I could certainly relate, having had it numerous times in numerous countries over the years. Interesting how that never changes...
I met Jannie at Asantewaa's house. About my age, she and her husband are fairly recent Peace Corps alumni who are still living the experience while he's here on a teaching Fulbright. Jewish from the north mid-Atlantic (can't remember where), Jannie is a vegetarian, into walking everywhere (oy, in this heat and humidity!), and exploring via hiking, back-packing and camping. I thought we'd have nothing in common, but she called and suggested lunch, which turned out to be fun -- as well as an introduction to the "Chabada" (?) orthodox Jewish Passover seder I'll be attending Monday night.
So, even though every day I still awaken startled and depressed because I'm no longer a wife, and no longer have "my" life and my love...and even though I still cry at least once every day...now those periods of sadness are interrupted with phone calls and e-mails: "Hey, want to get together?"
xooxooxox Love, Grammy
Well, I'm six months into the 18 months here, and finally, I can say that I have, indeed, started to make friends -- or at least, to have a social life. (No, no men or dates.)
My first "Hmmm...this woman might become a friend" experience was with Eunice, a tall, high-fashion, high-energy, married businesswoman with two young children who produces a TV show on business affairs. We'd met a few times concerning her show, and her interest in my "Creatrics" trainings. Last Friday night we had a "girls' night out", going for food, drink, "girltalk", and live music (great band/singers playing Ghanaian "high life" !). I reverted to my true self -- the first one on the dance floor, pulling others up -- and for the first time in 15 months, didn't feel like a tired, used-up, old widow.
I've also started going to activities held by "NAWA" (North American Women's Association). At one such event (a fashion show of really outrageous but fun African clothing by a Swedish designer) I met Ansantewaa -- a Ghanaian woman married to a white American (we can say "black" and "white" here without feeling we're committing some kind of terrible social faux pas), with three children, a recently published cookbook on Ghanaian food, and a wicked sense of irony and outrage. She's known by most people (including her husband of 25 years) as "Sarah", but has taken back her African name and so is introducing herself that way. I've now been to her house for dinner twice, we've gone walking, and I'm picking her up to go to a NAWA meeting tomorrow night, to hear a woman lawyer speak on women's rights in Ghana.
I met Paula, a Portuguese ex-pat here in Accra who's selling real estate, at "Cuppa Cappuccino", a cute little cafe where I sometimes I go for excellent food and coffee and really bad service. In fact, bad service is so much the norm at restaurants in Accra that when I had a friendly, attentive and competent server at one restaurant recently, I gave GHc 10 (10 cedis = $7) to the manager to buy the server some sushi, which he said he liked but couldn't afford.
The next time I went to "Cuppa", I struck up a conversation with Judith, a Ghanaian-American lawyer/financial advisor with a very strong New York accent, and her friend Ama, a Ghanaian IT specialist and university instructor who recently adopted a young daughter. Paula happened by, and we talked about music -- Judith is a major ethnic music fan -- and agreed it would be fun to get together for wine and cheese and share our favorite music. So, I went ahead and arranged that gathering for the next Saturday at my apartment. I also invited Ansantewaa and Eunice (latter couldn't make it), and Paula brought her Portuguese friend, Vanda. It was four hours of music and lively conversation -- about careers, life in Ghana, how Africans are portrayed internationally (we both laughed at and rued the predominant images of destitution, disease and backwardness) and, mostly, about "relationships". Although my guests were all in their mid-to-late 40's and either long-married (Asantewaa) with children still at home, divorcing (Vanda), or single/never married (the others), and I'm in my 60's long married/widow, it was a conversation to which I could certainly relate, having had it numerous times in numerous countries over the years. Interesting how that never changes...
I met Jannie at Asantewaa's house. About my age, she and her husband are fairly recent Peace Corps alumni who are still living the experience while he's here on a teaching Fulbright. Jewish from the north mid-Atlantic (can't remember where), Jannie is a vegetarian, into walking everywhere (oy, in this heat and humidity!), and exploring via hiking, back-packing and camping. I thought we'd have nothing in common, but she called and suggested lunch, which turned out to be fun -- as well as an introduction to the "Chabada" (?) orthodox Jewish Passover seder I'll be attending Monday night.
So, even though every day I still awaken startled and depressed because I'm no longer a wife, and no longer have "my" life and my love...and even though I still cry at least once every day...now those periods of sadness are interrupted with phone calls and e-mails: "Hey, want to get together?"
xooxooxox Love, Grammy
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